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You can change back again, lad. Ithink he's convinced." That I am. Okay, but what do you need from me?" John waited until I hadre-taken my seat before offering me a Coke."I know what a unicorn is, sir. I don't know what a unicorn does. Theother one didn't have a chance to fill me in. He said he was the land'sguardian and now I am but how do I guard it and from what? And everyanimal in my neighborhood thinks they can come to me with all theirproblems because I'm the unicorn." I don't know. Who'da thunk their klutzy little boy could land such a Babe-a-licious Angel as Amy? Amy looked so comfortable talking to my mom that I wondered if they'd already met someplace, and this whole thing had been a set-up.My dad is the salt of the earth, but he's also got Dirty Old Man genes, and he was ogling Amy and rolling his eyes and elbowing me the same way Shiggie did. I knew he wanted to know all the sordid details, but, gentleman that I am, all he got from me was a raised eyebrow that was. I take a deep breath , feeling the humidity preventing me from feeling refreshed. Taking a look at the conditioner I check it once again , tired that it isn't working properly , I finally give up on it , lighting a cigar up and taking a deep drag from it , trying to distract myself from the stupid thing. Just as I get a few drags in , I hear a knock on the door.I head over opening it taking the letter from the sweaty hotel clerk , a deeply tanned Latino husky man. He quickly hands me the. "Shelia's that new girl down in payroll, right? The brunette with the big rack?" Shelia wasn't my type. Now Eric, down in the mailroom, he was definitely my type.I shook off my adolescent daydreaming and noticed that Dirk was practically drooling. "Yeah, Shelia, that's the one." I wondered if she'd turned him down, too.I shouldered my bag and looked him in the eye. "Bite me, Dirk." I turned around and walked off without a backward glance."You're just frustrated because you want it, but it's not.
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